Emerge is Growing...Woman to Woman

Posted by Alia on Tuesday, January 22, 2008

3 different languages: Sinhala, English, and Sign Language. The workshop was alive beyond the structure that any one language could impose. On this hot and humid Monday, the girls who I had trained over the past two years transformed into teachers for 25 other young women from a variety of backgrounds.

The table was full…full of beads and supplies, hearing aids and crutches, small children and pregnant bellies, nimble fingers and smiles. “Today is the day for you to pass on what you have learned,” I told them as the girls all sat excitedly around the table. “You are a guide, a teacher.” And so it was that Medani turned into “Medani Miss” and Suneetha turned into “Suneetha Miss” and on and on. As I spoke to the girls and Nirukshi our Bead Program Coordinator translated, I watched as others signed to the girls who were deaf. I then watched as they explained the techniques to the newcomers in Sinhala with various gestures. Each level of communication was slightly different, adapted to the individual on the other end. I realized yet again that communication is simply a term that lumps the many facets of connection. Beyond the words and the symbols, there was love, hope, and encouragement. We were 50 women working together, learning from and teaching one another.

I’m not sure how to describe our remarkable workshop. I was struck by the attention each new teacher gave to her student, handling each with remarkable care and gentle guidance. Moreover, I was happy to see that even girls who have chosen to take shortcuts when making their own jewelry made sure that their students created the pieces correctly. I witnessed the power that teaching has in reinforcing skills.

Medani stood behind two girls, a fuchsia ribbon dangling around her neck to mark the length of the final product. Resting her arm on another girls’ shoulder, she carefully explained how to create the necklace. Occasionally she would glance up and call “Alia Miss” for help and I would look at her and call “Medani Miss” to remind her that she is the teacher now. I offered guidance when needed but she would laugh and look back down, having received the assurance she needed to move forward.

Nobody wanted to take her lunch or tea. There was an enthusiasm in the room unlike any that I had seen before. The Emerge Bead Program was building more than community in Ma-Sevana. It was breaking down barriers between women of different backgrounds; it was enabling the persevering girls who I had met two years before to become community resources. I suddenly realized the potential of such a simple program to affect change that was bigger than I had ever imagined possible. It was not only building the self-esteem of the young women and community of Ma-Sevana, it was paving the way for reintegration into communities that would see and appreciate each of woman’s individual strength, contribution, and value. Read more »

Volunteer Perspectives: First Interactions with the Women of Ma-Sevana

Posted by Alia on Monday, January 21, 2008

"Emerge Snapshot" By Dilini Warnakulasuriyarachchi, Emerge Volunteer

The 21st January of 2008 is a day that would forever stay with me in my memory. It began as any other day. Early morning rush to get ready for another day and another meeting. Yet, there was an underlying excitement as well. This was the day I finally got to meet the girls at Ma-Sevana. I have heard many stories about various girls at Ma-Sevana, but to actually meet them and to match a name with a face was enough reason to get me all excited.

To any other stranger who walked into Ma-Sevana, the 40 girls sitting around a table waiting for a lesson might not strike him/her as out of the ordinary. There they were sitting patiently waiting for Alia, Charlotta and Nirukshi to begin the day’s lesson. What was different on that day was instead of the 20 girls from Ma-Sevana, there were 20 more from the Vocational Training Center (VTC) run by Sarvodaya. Even more heartwarming was to see the smile upon the Ma-Sevana girls when they were told that they are going to be the teachers for the day! There were cheerful greetings all around when people addressed Miss Menuka, Miss Tiara, Miss Sindu, etc.

Each Ma-Sevana girl was paired up with one or more girls from the VTC. They were told that for that day they had to act as teachers. They rose to the occasion remarkably. They were careful during their explanations and made sure that each piece of jewelry was up to the correct standard. When I walked closer toward one group I saw the teacher using a lot of hand gestures. I was baffled for a second until I suddenly realize that some of the VTC girls had hearing and speech impairments. I realized for these girls words are not necessary to communicate with each other and to share their greatest passion. Each gentle hand movement was able to convey volumes.

With all the gentle chaos of beading there was another little mischievous character at loose. It was a toddler named Yohan. While his mother was teaching, Yohan had skipped day school in order to spend time with his favorite person in the world, Alia. His twinkling eyes and mischievous grin was able to melt anyone’s heart, even the strict matron’s.

Towards the mid afternoon, I stood near a corner and looked around. I was amazed and deeply inspired by the sight in front of me. There they were a group of teenage girls, lively and bubbly like any other teenager you would meet. There they were, a group of mothers, with love spilling out of their eyes for their only family, their own child. There they were, a group of teachers, patiently and kindly explaining an intricate maneuver in beading. There they were a group of young women with enough strength to face life’s bitter hardships, and enough courage to strive for a better future. Yes, 21st of January 2008 will stay with me for ever, for I will never forget those smiling faces, silent strength and their inspiring stories. Read more »

Around the Beading Table

Posted by Alia on Tuesday, January 08, 2008

As I glance over Sarasi's shoulder to look at her long, colorful necklace, I feel a tug at my back pocket. "Auntie, auntie." I turn around and glance down to Yohan, my three-year-old trouble maker. His hair is oiled and his apricot and maroon daycare uniform is neatly pressed. His bow tie (yes, bow tie) is cheerful like his smile. He has managed to escape from daycare next door. He looks up with a mischievous grin. He knows he isn't supposed to be here and he also knew that I adore him. Will I make him go back to school? I take his hand, "Yohan, I have class. Let's go back to school. Come on, it'll be fun." He wraps his hand around my finger as we walk back, with him taking giant strides through the grass, his bare feet stomping playfully.

As we step into Sarvodaya's beautiful new daycare center, he clings to my leg. I try to leave but he wont let go. He finally lets go but as I walk out the door he comes running. "Auntie, Auntie! Alia miss!" he shouts as he runs back and clings to my legs. He grabs my hand and gestures towards the classroom where we are conducting a beading workshop. He begins to tug at my arm until he nearly falls over. "OK, Yohan. You win."

Yohan spent the day wheeling his tricycle around our table, climbing in and out of the plastic tubs we have to hold our many jars of beads, and climbing into my arms to make faces as me. By 1pm, he was so exhausted that he wrapped his small arms around my neck as I talked to the girls counselor and passed out with his head on my shoulder.

Our first day of beading workshops was fabulous. The girls worked all day on their jewelry, not even wanting to take a break for lunch. Nirukshi, our Bead Program Coordinator, was there and so was Charlotta. More than a class, we were a group of women working together, learning from and supporting one another. Nanda, a program participant, helped both Nirukshi and Charlotta with their jewelry technique. Despite helping to run the program, jewelry is new to both of them. Nanda sat patiently between them, explaining how to finish their long necklaces. I grinned, watching the small girl sweetly guiding them. I walked around the table, checking the girls' work and commenting on their consistently beautiful color choices. I was thrilled to see that the girls not only had their beading books that I made them last time (pictorial guides of all of our products), but that they used them to explain the project to girls who were new to the program. There wasn't much for me to do. Let me pause there. For the first time, there wasn't much for me to do. The girls ran the class on their own.

I remembered back to the days when we first began the workshops two and a half years ago. We had all sat clustered in a dark room without a fan. My perspiration had been like small rivers, running down my face and back. Children were screaming and the girls tried to learn their techniques while nursing or chasing their children around the room. I did my best to explain the projects without a translator. Even the simplest tasks seemed monolithic. Today was different. The children were happy at Sarvodaya's new daycare (well, except for Yohan who was happily trying to get my attention as he climbed on chairs and followed me around). The room was well-lit and airy. The girls were experts to the products and worked on their pieces, thrilled to have new beading supplies. As I commented on the work and ways it could be improved, older girls would help translate and explain to the newcomers, knowing how the products should be completed.

One of the newcomers reminded me greatly of a girl who left our program this year. Now I know why. Chathuri is Gayesha's sister and both were impregnated by their father. They were removed from their home a year ago, along with their two little sisters. The youngest two are now at a girls' home, too young to be pregnant. But Chathuri sat in class with me yesterday, strong yet delicate like her sister. These girls are so strong, so brave, so beautiful. I know I say that nearly every time I write but there are no words to truly convey how remarkable they are, how much they have been through and how much they can achieve with their tremendous strength. Every time I work with them, I feel more humbled and inspired, knowing they are capable of so much. Their ability to love, support, and nurture despite horrific abuse is phenomenal.

Nirukshi is such a gift and asset to our program. She is more than a supervisor and coordinator; she is our girls' advocate. She loves the girls dearly and has come to work with them each and every week since I left last May. She has brightened their lives, taken them on trips, and made sure that they each have what they need. Today she had a minor car accident. And yet, shaken as she was, she still came for our workshop. Her anxiety melted away throughout the day as she laughed with the girls, checked their work, and learned from them. Beading has brought us all together, it has built a strong a loving community and made us all friends, supporters, family. It carries us all forward, enabling us to forget our worries and concerns, our hardships and pains, and building a reality that is beautiful, relaxing, peaceful and truly transformational. Read more »

fresh faces, new life, and overflowing joy

Posted by Alia on Friday, January 04, 2008

I am filled up to the brim with joy. No, I am bursting at the seams. It's uncontainable (hence, my second post in one day). I got to see each and every one of my wonderful, incredible, inspiring, persevering girls. My children. My sisters. My family. I squeezed them and played games with them and stuffed my face with chocolate cake with them.

Two boys sat on my lap, one on each leg. Another girl pulled on my shirt so I picked her up as well. My arms and lap were full with children: full of warmth and joy and tickles and smiles. I have never seen the girls or the children so collectively happy. Several of the children danced on the table. Their mothers held onto their shirts so they wouldn't run off the table edge in their excitement. Charlotta helped Yohan, my favorite, mischievous, 3-year-old, with her camera as he took snapshots of the table legs and stairs. The girls clustered around the table, trying to remember their English phrases. Even the new girls greeted us enthusiastically.

Over the past few months, Ma-Sevana has been a place of fresh faces and new life. A new 13 year old showed me her one month old twins. 13 years old giving birth to twins. Even after seeing it, I cannot believe it. How can such a tiny person bring not one but two lives into our world? She's handling it with a miraculous grace I can only hope to have when I have my own family (perhaps when I am three times her age). Tiara and Sindu proudly showed me their gorgeous babies who were born after I left Ma-Sevana in May. I still find it incredible to watch these young girls turn into nurturing mothers... what a privilege to witness this process.

We also visited the vocational training center to see the girls who have left Ma-Sevana and are now being trained in sewing, while also continuing to make jewelry. There, in front of the sewing machines, was my beautiful friend Medani. Medani and I will always have an incredible bond. Beading gave her a voice when nothing else would...when she was literally silent for a week after her arrival to Ma-Sevana. Even now, when she is down, nothing opens her up like stringing colorful necklaces. She is careful with her work but bold and carefree with her colors. And, her style has sold incredibly well. She reminded me that her son will turn two on January 21. That means it was two years ago that we met, when she was 8 months pregnant with little Pasan. I remembered the heartbreaking note she received on Valentine's Day last year, a rejection from her family and community forever. She had no place to go after Ma-Sevana. I asked Nirukshi, our Bead Program Coordinator, what the plans were for her. Where would she go when she completed her training? Her future is unknown and she will likely stay at the Vocational Training Center for an extended period of time while they figure out an appropriate next step. I want nothing more than to build a house for her, to give her a foundation on which she can thrive and build a new community, or to invite her to the new community we hope to build next year. We will keep up with her, we will support her where ever she goes. She is the essence of Emerge and what we strive to do, she is what keeps me going when I question all of my efforts and challenges in front of me. Medani, rest assured that we will find a place for you in the future. I know we can.

As we left Ma-Sevana, Yohan (my 3 year old monkey man who climbs everything, including my legs) proudly carried our box of empty bead bottles out to the car. We are refilling them this weekend. The girls crowded by the gate as we left blowing kisses, waving, and calling their characteristic "good luck." Oh my girls. Such a different reality than when I arrived two and a half years ago. Worlds different. "Beading is their favorite class. It's all they ever want to do," Nirukshi tells me as she smiles. Nothing feels better than knowing that we have built the reality I always dreamed of for these girls. We've done it. We really have. And, it's only going to get better. Read more »

Sri Lankan Arrival: a Team and... Unexpected Company

Posted by Alia on Thursday, January 03, 2008

4:45am Thursday morning. I arrived in Sri Lanka.

Sri Lanka felt calm. Somehow, it didn't overwhelm my senses as usual. I'm not sure if this is the result of growing acclimation to Sri Lanka or if in fact it was more mild than usual. But whatever the reason, it was calm and welcoming, and all the fears and anxieties that had surfaced on the 32+ hour transit subsided as I found myself at home. Arriving at the wee hours of the morning, the sun was just rising by the time we had cleared immigration and collected our bags.

As we rolled our bags to the dilapidated taxi van I felt both at ease and excited, knowing that I was back to the rhythm and lifestyle I adored. Yet, I also knew that the rhythm of this trip will be quite different: we now have a team. Charlotta, an amazing girl from St. Lawrence University rolled a cart near me. Dilini, a dedicated and compassionate Sri Lankan attending MIT, will arrive next week. (To give you a sense of her dedication to Emerge, she has been meeting me at 8am on Saturday mornings to tutor me in Sinhala all semester). Beth from England is already here. My role is shifting, from visioning to facilitating, from doer to coordinator (well, coordinator and doer). I am thrilled and yet will also admit that I am terrified, as my dreams are literally becoming the realities that many hands are working to craft.

The colorful but frayed garland hanging from the rear-view mirror swung back and forth as we swerved in and out of traffic. Charlotta made observations of Sri Lankan life: the difference between Sinhala and Tamil characters on signs and billboards, the lush greenery, burning piles of trash, countless stray dogs, and the common barefoot tuk tuk driver. Just in driving and talking to Charlotta on the way to our house, I felt like I was sharing a piece of myself. Sri Lanka has shared so much with me and I am finally able to bring some of its wonders to others.

As we pulled into our road, Suranga, the tuk tuk driver who is perpetually parked at the head of the road glanced up and with a quick double take let out a big smile. I nearly shrieked! I was back. The gatekeepers remembered me too. Charlotta took her first tuk tuk ride along the beach as we headed to the grocery store to stock up on food and toiletries. The sea breeze frizzed my hair as we drove. The weather was perfect. Absolutely perfect. Not quite as humid as usual and not nearly as hot. Just right.

* * *

"Hello? Anyone home?"

I leapt up. I had passed out at about 10am on the bed of our locked apartment. Suddenly a man was staring at me in my room.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you. I'm a friend of Mil's and we have a key because we needed to pick something up."

I was so confused in my jetlag. He was blocking the sun's intense rays that were streaming in through the window so I couldn't see his features very well, just his profile. Wait. The sun was shining intensely through the window, just over the ocean. What time was it? And, wait. Who is this man standing in my locked apartment cheerfully asking me all sorts of questions?

It was 4:00pm. I had slept all day. Thank goodness someone woke me. My "awakener" turned out to be one of two guys who had stopped by the apartment, both friends of our host. The intruders were definitely harmless. After drinking beer since 9am and watching cricket all day, they definitely had quite the buzz. We all sat around and talked about the unexpected lives that we have developed as a result of our experiences on this island. What started as a few months of volunteering has shaped all of our life directions. As we talked like old friends, I remembered one of the many reasons I adore this place: the community of global citizens it brings together.

I'm not sure what this trip will bring. So far, it has brought perfect weather, sunshine, incredible smiles and greetings, and... unexpected friends.

I see my girls later today. I can't wait. Read more »